Random #432

Shoutout to CVS, who put the children medications in the same aisle as the condoms and KY Jelly.
Mind you, the rest of the medication was in a TOTALLY different aisle.
And mind you, my niece knows how to sound out words.
So basically, I was sweating in said aisle, more than my sick, fevered niece, as I tried to find the right medication.
So thanks for that, CVS…thanks for that…

Random #431

When my boys were very young, I would send them to bed on Christmas eve, the only night of year they willingly went. Then I would turn on the Christmas Story movie (we all know it plays 24 hours that night), pour a glass of nog, and wrap and set up all the presents. Somewhere in between all of that I would jingle some bells at the bottom of the stairs, so that in their sleep they would think Santa and Rudolph and all of them had made a stop at our house. I don’t think they truly ever believed in Santa, but it was fun for all of us to keep up the appearance.
It’s different now that they are older. We sat up together well into Christmas morning this year. The Christmas Story was on, and we sat together on the sofa and talked and laughed till their yawns led to prolonged blinks. And eventually they drug themselves to their beds. It pushed back me setting out their gifts. Tonka trucks and action figures and mega blocks have been replaced with complex lego building sets and apple iphones and video game rockers. And now we eat the cookies that in previous years, we sat out for Santa.
As the final minutes of Christmas day countdown, I’m so thankful I have always been able to enjoy each moment and stage with them. I really do miss the young toddler days. But I appreciate this stage too. Where we can have meaningful conversations. They get the real meaning of Christmas. They know it’s about Jesus. And they appreciate family. And love.
They are growing up before my very eyes. Closer to men then babies now. Christmases will be ever changing, as they mature. But their love for their momma, and their kisses will always be the same. And momma gives as good as she gets.
Merry Christmas!!

Random #430

My postman put a nice little Christmas card in my box today…no doubt looking for a tip.
Here is a tip: Deliver to the right homes!
I have opened more wrong packages this holiday season, then realized I didn’t order said package, then read the package and realize it is not mine.I have had to RE-tape said packages and drive around my neighborhood, placing them on the right front porches.
He owes ME a tip!

Random #429

I have been wanting tuna for a while. Bought the stuff and everything. But with all the ripping and running and end of the semester shenanigans I have found myself in, I have not had time to boil the eggs to make it.
Yesterday, as I was preparing a totally unrelated salad, it dawned on me to throw two extra eggs in the pot, to make the tuna later. Bazinga! Right?
SO late last night, as I was writing a paper, I got hungry and thought “AH HA! TUNA!!”. I prepared it, sat down with the whole bowl (DO NOT JUDGE ME) in front of my computer and ate and typed.
It ain’t taste good. I could not figure out why and was too sleepy to think it through
This morning, as I was stacking the breakfast dishes, what do I see? Those same two eggs I boiled yesterday! Still sitting in the pot. On the stove.
Sad face. That’s why it didn’t taste good!…

Random #428

I told the youngest (he’s 11) to wake me up at 5:30.
He wakes me up at 5:28….and says “Ma. It’s 5:28″
Then he says “In two minutes it will be 5:30″.
I was upset for a couple of reasons. Number 1 being the most obvious!! Number two is the fact that HE pointed out what time it would be in two minutes! He doesn’t struggle with math. Why point that out? I struggle with math…but not with adding…and even if I did…wouldn’t be nothing to me that 2 minutes from 5:28 would be 5:30. Cuz I would be sleep!!
I just sat and glared at him.
Revenge will come early tomorrow morning for him…

Random #427

The mark of a good driver should be determined by how well one can navigate the school morning drop off entrance, line AND exit…

That should  be added to the test…

Take away parallel parking and add that…

Random #426

The oldest muffin woke up with one swollen eye shut. The youngest walked past him, and never breaking stride, said “Sup Fetty Wap…when’s your next single?”
I had to google Fetty Wap
And then I hollered!! Because he was spot on!…

Random #425

Today I almost forgot I represent Jesus…
I was attempting to sell back a $70 text book and the kind girl who rang my book up said “$5.00″.
I asked “$5 times what?”
I am not good at math but I am fairly certain we were going to mathematize this thing out till we came to an appropriate number.
I used to think Insurance was the biggest hustle ever, but education ranks up there with it!
It costs more than $5 in gas to drive to the school to sell the book back!!

Random #424

When the oldest was promoted from fifth grade he got a commemorative tee with all of his classmates names on it, along with their graduation year (which, coincidentally, made me ball like a baby…shut up…it’s my right as his mother!).
Anyway, I have told me him repeatedly don’t wear it. Yesterday, he had it on with a huge ink stain on it. So I’m fussing “HEY!! I told you don’t wear it! Now look at it!!”
He replies: It’s a shirt. Why can’t I wear it?
Me: because one day it will be nice to look at, as a memory
Him: Oh…like..”remember when my mother kept going crazy about a shirt I could care less about?”

Random #423

My sis is one of those organic eating people. I think she grows her own flour, makes home made muffins full of vitamins and sunshine, and sweet potato pancakes with home spun sugar, that contains sweet.
I asked her could I come for breakfast but bring my own pork bacon. Because as you’ve probably guessed, her household has never tasted pork. Or fried chicken.
On the phone yesterday she was sharing how her 3 year old still does not sleep through the night. I did not hesitate to tell her if he had a piece of bacon or some ribs he would sleep just fine!!