There should be someone to stand at every exit of Target that yells “Got’eem” every time a poor fool leaves. I swear, I walked in there with the purpose of buying TWO items, and $100 later, I’m sitting in the car, reviewing my receipt, wondering what in THEE heck just happened!! Makes no sense to me, at all…
Swear I’ma smooth do a Monica run to every rude person I come across. If you aggravate me, I aggravate you. Deal?
The love muffins and I were talking, laughing, eating ice cream, and the following conversation took place:
Oldest: Hey remember when we first went to Sky Zone and the youngest had an asthma attack?
We all begin to reminisce
Me: Yea remember when we were waiting for EMS to arrive, and youngest was sitting there barely able to breathe, you looked at me and said “While you guys are doing this *insert circular hand movement* can I go back to jump?”.
Oldest: Yea *laughter* and remember when youngest was trying to ask you could he stop jumping, before the asthma attack started for real, and you yelled “Boy I paid for a half hour, go use your minutes!”
Oldest: Still laughing…Yea you sounded like the dad from Everybody Hates Chris! *Imitates me: Go use yo minutes!
Youngest: laughing….yeah….Go use yo minutes!!
My Cuz to me, after noticing a tattoo on my wrist: Vee, you have a tattoo? Since when?!
My grandmother, before I could answer: Mmmm Hmmm she don’t care nothing bout what Jesus say!
Me: stuttering….I have two…
Grandmother: She has another one, on her back, right above her split. She don’t care.
Random #71 stated:
I can remember shopping for my first training bra. We went to Dillards! I was feeling so grown. So adult. I was about to be certified. All those feelings came to a halt when my mother made me try the bra on over my shirt in the middle of the floor. Not in the dressing room. But in the middle. Of the floor….
I’m telling you this because, in a quick tip to the mall today, I discovered that Victoria Secret was having a sale. I was on my lunch and didn’t have a lot of time to spare. I knew I needed to be measured to ensure it fit correctly. Here in lies the problem. Pressed for time, plus a nice little selection to choose from, meant I was rushed. So the sales girl said “well I can just measure you right here…”. She whipped out her measuring tape and time froze for me. I started to sweat a little, my hands shook. I felt like all eyes were on me. All of a sudden I was that little girl in the middle of the Dillards sale floor. I think I may be scarred for life….