Random #373

I’m at work, staring intently into the computer screen. I know I look like I’m deep into my work. But really, for the past hour, I’ve been thinking about what I want for dinner…and it’s only 11:09 am…

Random #372

I’ve noticed lately that when I fuss at the youngest, he will cut me off to say “Mawmee I love you”. Sometimes he evens adds a hug and kiss…We had a convo about it:
Me: Do you think that cutting me off to tell me you love me and kiss me, makes me forget that you’re in trouble?
Him: No
Then he whispers: But yea
And smiles

And like a punk, I melt…

Random #371

That whole “getting to know you” convo went like:
Him: do you like individually wrapped twinkies
Me: bwahaha I’m not a Twinkie person
Him: smh
Me: you like twinkies I take it?
Him: not at all
Me:…….:-(

LMBO!!

Random #368

Me: You guys wearing shorts today?
Youngest: YES!
Oldest: Nope
Me: It’s going to be 80 degrees. That’s hot. Are you sure?
Oldest: Naw I’ll wear jeans
Me: Why?
Oldest: Because if I wear shorts you’re gonna make me put lotion on my legs. If I wear jeans, that’s less lotion

#12yearoldlogic

 

 

Random #365

Whilst I was waiting to get my tire changed, giggling on the phone with my sissy, a man named Robert repeatedly tried talking to me “I like your shirt…I like your nails…can I sit next to you…CAN I USE YOUR SHIRT TO CLEAN MY GLASSES” (This is what ya’ll do now?). He had a shiny ring on his ring finger. His car was finished before mine, so as he prepared to leave, the following conversation ensued:

R. You drink beer? Can I take you out for beer? V: No

R: You eat? V: Yep R: What kind? V: Food R:Smirk

V: Aren’t you married? R. Yea…I ain’t trying to get in your pants! I just wanted some dinner. You need to have better discernment. You can’t have all this sexual chocolate.

PAUSE PLEASE: He clearly did not know the definition of discernment. And if you had seen him, you would know that he didn’t know the definition of sexual chocolate…

V: Date your wife R: I do! All the time! V: That’s awesome! Date her some more. R: I’m bout to take my daughter out now! V: Awesome as well. When you are done, take your wife out! R. Well….if we can resurrect her, I will. Me:…..resurrect……? R: Yes….she died (solemn face). V: She ain’t hardly dead! R: YES SHE IS! V: You just said you date her all the time! R: I do!

WAIT FOR IT….

R: I date her in my heart!

The man killed off his wife to save face. A liar, a cheater and a murder…

I DO NOT DATE MARRIED MEN! I’m no whore….

*sigh!