Random #244

I will never understand women that don’t do their hair, but put on earrings. And I don’t mean do their hair all fancy schmany….I mean like….used a comb….lay the baby hair down…put it in a ponytail. How do you have a matted mess on your head but put on earrings?….

Random #243

If God says He is not a man that He should lie…..then why do we keep referring to Him as a man? “I know a man…”, ‘The man upstairs…”….isn’t that like, blatant disobedience?…. 

Random #242

So I’m taking a creative writing class….just because. We have to write a short story and have the class “workshop” it while you sit and listen. I had planned to start mine out with “Now I’m and artist….and I’m sensitive about my @#^t!”….but we can’t say ANYTHING in class. My first workshop was great. My second? Amazing!! The responses that I got from my professor and classmates has made me feel so good!! “There is something so refreshing about your writing”,  “I really felt something when I was reading the story”, “To write like this you have to really know what you’re doing” and “Beautiful writing” just to quote a few. I. AM. PUMPED. #she’sawriter!! #vee’sawriter!! YAY!!…

Random #241

The frames on my eyeglasses are clear. Imagine how hard it is to “find” them. This morning they were laying on the bathroom sink. I searched the whole house, starting with the bathroom, but…as blind as I am, I couldn’t see them. Brilliant….

Random #240

I just sat on my oldest. After he screamed he said “mommy you don’t look like you weigh this much!”

Thanks son. You do wonders for my self esteem…. 

Random #238

I’ve probably said this before, but only the purely selfish say and live by the saying “children are resilient”. Yes they are. But in a lot of respects, they shouldn’t have to be…

Random #234

As my house was winding down for the evening a couple years ago, I noticed my oldests’s shirts were folded differently in his drawer. “I did it mommy” he said with his round face and big eyes. He was about 6 years old. “You work so hard I wanted to help out.”

I cried. I have awesome boys!… 

Random #233

I went to Target yesterday to buy one item that cost about $10….$60 and some change later, I had not bought what I intended, I had not bought anything for me, but my kids were certainly giggling with delight when we left…

Random #231

There are some people that set their clocks 5 minutes ahead of time. But I know someone who set their clock 2 minutes BEHIND! That’s like…TRYING to be late!…

Random #227

You can ALWAYS tell when someone learns a new word. I heard this guy say “the vicissitudes of life” fifteen times in 45 seconds and all I could think was “He must’ve read his dictionary this morning”…

Random #226

The most awkward/random conversations and silences are always in an elevator with strangers, and in the middle of a pap smear…Hey doc? When you are elbow deep, I don’t wanna hear about how your kid is doing in college or the book your currently reading. All I wanna hear is “Here’s a glass of wine” and “Here’s my invention to make this process a whole lot easier….”….

Random #225

Yesterday…I was this close to being in a really bad accident, when someone’s grandma decided to make a left turn from the right lane (I think it’s time she turns in her keys). Then, I accidentally broke a dish and the glass splattered upwards into my face…but I didn’t get hurt. My guardian angel was working overtime yesterday. I feel good that she was on her post. I also feel good that for once, it wasn’t my fault that she was working so hard. Shout out to her!…..praying for a chill day today….

Random #224

On a normal day, I make a habit of parking far away from the entrance, seeing as how that walk would probably be the extent of my exercise. However, on a less than stellar weather day, I park in the expectant mothers parking spot. If ever questioned I plan to explain that I am pregnant with purpose and due to give birth any day now…