Random #222

I kept trying to log into a particular account. It would not let me in. I did it so much, it locked the account. The message was all like “girl give it up, don’t come back, you don’t know the password, it’s probably not you. Call this number we are going to have to reset everything. This account is done”. So I called the number. Turns out…..I had the wrong username. 

So….if your username is vfowler and you are locked out of a certain account….sorry. But call that number, they will help you….

Random #221

I am about to tell God all about the iphone and apple and how they always do me dirty. It must be a conspiracy! Every time a new iphone comes out, my present iphone mysteriously gets a case of the stupid! It won’t hold a charge, I don’t get all my text messages, apps close in the middle of me using it, all willy knilly!! HE is gonna get them!! 

Random #220

Today is Thursday….but it is confused. It thought it was Monday. Don’t worry, I set that mutha sucka straight! You are Friday’s Eve and you will act as such!! I don’t have time for Monday-like foolishness….

Random #219

There is NUFTIN (as my niece would say) like your kid getting a new instrument, playing said instrument with absolutely no instruction, making the instrument sound like a wounded elephant, putting said instrument down, the nod confidently as he says: “Nailed it!”….nuftin like it…

Random #218

My mom always taught me about the whole “on time is before time” mentality. All my life all my friends ran on cp time, which is the exact opposite. Now as a parent, the on time is before time mentality is truly coming in handy at my kids school, because they don’t play! 7 means 7….not 7:05….not leave your house at 7….y’all know who you are!…

Random #216

We appreciate your patience as we assist another valued caller. Our staff is working hard to return to the line as promptly as possible.Thank you for calling. We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your business. We apologize for putting you on hold, and will be with you shortly.Thank you for your call. We will be happy to address any questions you may have in just a moment.Please let us know how we can best serve you when we return to the line. Whatever your needs, we are dedicated to exceeding your expectations. Thank you for your patience during this brief delay.Setting the standard of professionalism in everything we do is our commitment to you. We pride ourselves in the care and attention given to our clients. We will give you the same courtesy and concern when we return to the line.Your call is very important to us. Please continue to hold for personal assistance.When you work with our experienced team, you can rest assured that you are working with the best. We are dedicated to excellence in all aspects of our business. Experience the difference for yourself. Thank you for holding.Our team of experienced professionals takes great pride in the work we do. That commitment to excellence is what has allowed us to enjoy success over the years, serving customers just like you. We invite you to ask for more details when we return to your important call.We apologize for your wait. Please continue to stay on the line and we will return to your call momentarily…………………

AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random #215

You REALLY need to pause and reflect when, as soon as you get home from church, your youngest bust out with “I like big butts and I cannot lie!” and then proceeds to recite more of the lyrics, albeit wrong. And he’s only 9. And he had real conviction when he said it. And you don’t listen to that kind of music around him so you don’t know where he got it from. But you almost rapped it with him….reflect hard….

Random #213

On the way to school this morning, the youngest and I had a deep, intense disagreement…it got heated….voices were raised…we were both exasperated….about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…

Random #212

There are some people that can tell a whole story with curse words, and censor themselves. They can mute the curse word….yet say the word before and the word after. I am not one of these people. I know because I have tried many times. I always end up muting the word before and after, and saying the curse word out loud….it proves to be a problem…