Random #118

If I hafta “good boy” you every two seconds, for doing things that you should ALREADY be doing….AND you are already stingy on throwing high fives my way…well Houston we have a problem….I am all for encouragement…I am not, however, for enabling your inability/pigheadedness toward growing up…

Random #117

I heard a lot of shade this weekend. Let me share some:

1. Me: I’m thinking about going back to blonde. I’m not feelin the black. Friend: OH GIRL NOOOOOO!!!! Please don’t!! 

2. My Brother: You know, ya’ll took some nice pictures. Ya’ll can be cute when you try…

3. The youngest: No offense but I don’t think you can fit that…

4. Long time buddy: I saw those little legs running across the parking lot, I said that had to be Vee…

Random #114

It’s weird when others believe something for you that you don’t even believe for yourself…

Random #113

Also…to the guy who stuck his middle finger up at me when I was holding up the lane at the green light because I was taking selfies when the light was red, sorry. And I hope you took that middle finger to church with you…He delivered me from the middle finger, He can do the same for you…

Random #112

If you are under the age of 75, and you make a complete, full, 5 minute stop at a four way stop sign, when there is absolutely NO ONE at any of the other stops, you are a goody two shoes, and I don’t like you…at all…so stop it….

Random #110

Don’t you HATE when someone calls/texts/wakes you up right before your alarm is set to go off?!….don’t you wanna fight?…(I just did it to my sis and I laughed)…

Random #109

I was just about to judge everyone in California who has been amazed and appalled that they had (another) earthquake….then I remembered everyone in the Midwest who was amazed and appalled that we had (another) snowstorm…

Random #108

I do not like to be left on hold…more than likely I will hang up. If I don’t hang up, it’s because I forgot I was on hold, and therefore your reemergence will scare the crap out of me…

Random #107

It rained all day today…dreary. The sun came out for about a half an hour, during which time the oldest says, “the sun always comes out after the rain”. #that’llpreach #beencouraged #Heuseselevenyearoldstoo…

Random #106

I get so excited about my cup of coffee!! When I know I have my fav creamer (I mix French vanilla and amaretto) and my truvia…AND the coffee is bold….chile listen, it’s like a little piece of heaven!… 

Random #105

I follow this guy on ig…no idea who he is or what he does that makes him “famous”….but I thank God for him…because he is fine!…

Random #104

I’m at my desk at work listening to the re-broadcast of the Potter’s House and Bishop Jakes just asked everyone to bow their heads and close their eyes. On auto-pilot, I bowed my head and closed my eyes…I also cried during praise and worship, said “don’t do that” when he tried to do the same wrong rift twice and stopped myself from shouting when he was speaking to my situation (He was doing his good preaching)…I think it’s time to go home…

Random #103

Went to Kalahari once…took great strides not to get my weave wet…I was going “natural” underneath said weave and did not know what I would do if it got wet as I am very remedial when it comes to doing my own hair. SO…I threatened the kids lives “do NOT splash me”. I ended up in a tire, floating lazily down the lazy river. So relaxing. Eyes half way closed…letting the relaxing moment sweep me away. Somewhere on the trip I heard trickling water, getting closer and closer…but didn’t pay it any attention. DID NOT KNOW a HUGE WATERFALL was a part of this lazy river experience. Needless to say, my weave got wet…#salt…

Random #102

So here is the dilemma: going to a party this weekend (super stoked)…but this weather is a little “too much cold and snow”….and I am not 20 anymore. There was a time when I would wear my dress, no jacket, stand in the cold till I made it in. ‘Cuz a little cold never hurt nobody. At 33 I’m a bit more like, how am I going to get from the warm car to the warm building? Because a little cold is gone make my arthritis/gout flare up. Do I wear my winter coat over my spring/summer dress? Do I wear jeans and a turtle neck and bring my dress on a hanger, in a garment bag, and change in the bathroom? Don’t judge, ok? This is serious….and I am doing way better than my friend, who was tryin to figure out how to wear a slip underneath her very short freak-um dress. While all of our grandma’s would be proud, that’s not cool…

Random #100

When you are in a Walmart situation, trying to look/act like you really belong in Target…and then someone you are associated with makes a Dollar Store move….

Random #97

Starbucks sent my birthday treat coupon (a month late, but whatevs) just in time for the lemon raspberry pound cake, which is life changing in the world of pound cakes!…

Random #96

At this stage in life, auto correct should know words like “heffa” and stop trying to correct it to “hear”. That’s inappropriate when I’m trying to tell some heffa about herself!… 

Random #95

I feel like I have totally made progress in the working out department…last night I actually moved the hand barbell weight thingamajigies from the front hallway closet to my bedroom…

Random #94

So…my deodorant is the gel kind, as opposed to the solid…and my shirt is kinda thin…and I was rushing this morning, didn’t have time to let the gel “dry” before I got dressed…so now I look like I have sweaty pits…but I really don’t. They are quite deodorized, tropical something or other…just fyi…(I’m going to get the solid kind after work today…)…